If you do this for me and I’ll refer all my friends

Yep.  And your friends don’t have any money either.  I’ve fallen for that one when quoting for work.

My top ten:

1. If you do this for me and I’ll refer all my friends.

This project takes 403% of your time and you get 0% referrals

2. “I can’t believe your software doesn’t do ‘X’  If you code ‘X’, for me, for free you’ll make a killing selling it to everyone else.”

If you won’t pay for this will anyone else ?  I’ll just work for free shall I?

3. “You’re a Programmer? – I’ve got a problem with my PC at home maybe you could fix it for me?

It’s a personal favourite of mine, it’s a bit like saying “You’re a doctor?  I’ve got a problem with my car , can you take a look?”

4. I need a fully functional website by close of business.  

I don’t program Web sites, what makes you think I can design one in the next hour and a half?

5. Think of this as a foot in the door, do this and I’ll refer more work to you.

Think of this as MY bill for MY time. 

6. I don’t want to spend any money but….(long rambling list of features )

OK, which bits of the software don’t you want?

7. I paid for something once 3 years ago and think it’s your duty to sort out all my other problems without getting paid to do so.

Brilliant.  Just watch me NOT help you. 

8. I need this tomorrow.

Another favourite, should I code /test/ implement faster? (again, which bit of the software don’t you want? )

9. My Nephew/Cousin/Dog  programs in MS  FrontPage/MS Access and he says it can’t be that complicated/expensive surely?  

If that’s the case you could get your dog to do it?

10. Software ‘X’ does this, yours should too.

Yeah, well software ‘X’ blows chunks and is written in BASIC why would I want to copy that?

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